Watchbait™, An Investigative Report

follow me on twitter @vomcent it's like this but shorter and worse

Okay, so picture this. You’re on Grailed/eBay/whatever, and you’re browsing...HARD.  You have a shameful number of tabs full of listings of your favorite brands, with each item more expensive than the last. You see a gorgeous piece that you know for a fact you will never see again, and you think to yourself “I just gotta know more.”

So, you click on it. You pull up the item page. You stare. It’s more beautiful than anything you could’ve imagined, more impressive than anything you’ve ever seen in your wildest, most fucked up dreams. You check the price. Too much? Of course. But you’d pay it if you had the money. You don’t even bat an eyelash at the price. But then you look at the description, looking for more reasons to stare at this legendary garment, and you see the size. Whatever size you wear, it’s a size off. Surely not! Everything about this listing was perfect, even the fact that it was unattainable due to the price! It all built character for this amazing piece! There must be some way you can justify wanting this specific garment as bad as you do.  Luckily, the seller posted measurements, so you can be proven wrong by the tag, and realize it would actually fit you! You look, you size things up, and suddenly tears run down your face. It’s definitely a size off, and the measurements prove that. There isn't a damn thing you can do. This gorgeous, grail-level piece of clothing will never fit you the way you want it to. So what do you do?

You fucking watch the damn thing anyways.

That’s called Watchbait. This thing has proven that it’s unattainable, not even through price, but through the fact that it literally will never fit you, and you still fucking added it to your favorites or bookmarks or whatever, just so you could keep an eye on it. Fucking stupid but it’s still something that ends up happening.

I’ve done it many a times. The most recent/prominent occasion was probably when there happened to be not one, but TWO Undercover “Antidevil Security” parkas listed on Grailed at the same time, both an outrageous amount of money, and both in size 3 (which would be somewhere between a medium and a large in american sizes). AND I WATCHED BOTH OF THEM. 2 INCARNATIONS OF THE PERFECT PARKA, BOTH A SIZE TOO BIG FOR ME, AND I STILL GET NOTIFICATIONS FOR THEM WHEN THEY DROP IN PRICE ONCE EVERY BLUE MOON. THE DAMN THINGS ARE STILL TOO EXPENSIVE EVERY TIME IT DROPS AND I STILL CLICK THE LINKS THEY EMAIL ME!  AHHH

The worst part is I don't have a solution. I know I usually try to wrap up my articles with some sort of moral or something (Have fun! Dress well! Wear Undercover!) But I have nothing for you. We all do it, I've talked to multiple people since writing this and they all confessed that watchbait items are about half of their watch list and they don't know how they got there. This epidemic of second hand coveted clothing being watched by people with literally no intention to buy is just here to stay now, I guess, so… best of luck to you. It will keep happening, just like it’s BEEN happening, so, good luck, I hope you find what you want in a size you need. Otherwise, just watch it anyways.